Being ME, Being Authentic ~ From a Spiritual Diary

Excerpts from Spiritual Diary of a fellow spiritual seeker.

Note: Few parts are changed to bold fonts by me.

ॐ नम: शिवाय

If I would be attached to this body beyond its most basic needs, I would not have got the little glimpse of the SELF. If mind gets very conscious of the body then it is inspired to do something about it. In my case it’s not inspired and it’s fine. The mind has taken a body for its own purpose and so the decision to change its costumes must be left to it. I am unconcerned. My deep reverence to these imperfect instruments for leading me to this point. Does not matter if they are unattractive talentless instruments. Avadhoot Geeta says thus: “Even an unpainted boat will take you across”. My boat is unpainted but I am thankful to it for taking me to the Shore…

If one wants to praise, the praise can be showered on the unpainted mind which had the capacity to let go. I thank the mind which troubled me a lot in life. It is deficient, untalented in most ways of the world but finally it let go. Unpainted and dented is how my mind sees itself.

There is nothing worthwhile to hold on to. So it let go things. Yet it is still holding on to one thing which is the land of the Seven Rivers. Slowly…vo bhi chhoot jayega…

I have got just a “Jhalak” of the Self.

I see nothing lacking in the thoughtless space. It’s complete. Just that I am not anchored to it. I drift away on the sea of thoughts and keep coming back to the shore only to drift again.

In my own being without knowledge of any scriptures, I feel that ‘I AM’ as thoughtless Space is ‘ME’. Yet I become someone else because of thoughts from time to time. I AM is the NOW. I AM.

Thoughts move time to create past and future. When I AM , I see everything in NOW… in ME. But I drift because of thoughts. I don’t know Mukti and Its types. I just know that there is a weird problem that for some reason, I can’t be myself and I become someone else in my imagination. Thoughts displace me from ME… from I AM.

I just have to be as I AM. There is nothing else to it. It is SO Simple! But something makes me “not to be me”. It’s weird and unnatural.

Don’t want Mukti I just want to be…

I don’t know if I am Grand or the Master of past, present & future or if I am the seed of the universe. I am not interested in these Egoistic curiosities. I want to be just ME. I want to be ME even if it’s nothing.

I want to be Authentic.

I want to be ME…

………..

For all my life I have had the problem of being authentic. As a mind one is authentic when one acts according to ones highest knowledge. When gap between knowledge and action is zero, is called ‘Being Authentic’.

I lived inauthentic life. I knew something was wrong and yet it happened through me. I knew something was right and yet I could not do it. I suffered inauthentic life caused by inauthentic mind.

FINALLY I can be Authentic by simply ‘Being Real Me’.

When there are ‘NO Thoughts’, I feel SO REAL, SO Authentic and SO True!

“Being ME, Being Authentic”

As a Mind, I would feel authentic by doing/saying/thinking the right thing. As a ‘No-Mind’, I am ‘supremely authentic’ by simply Being ME. I am finally authentic. I have no blemish of phoniness of knowing something and doing opposite.

In me there is no action. There is only BEING ME. I AM.

ॐ नम: शिवाय